January 14, 2009
Stinky Diaper Receptacle Missing; Police Question Suspects
The large, white, alien-looking bin known officially as the "Stinky Diaper Receptacle" was first discovered missing from the Bergeman nursery on the morning of January 14 thanks to a police tip from an unnamed source. Although the tip alerted investigators to the theft, the informant did not provide any details on the supposed perpetrators. "Gah!" exclaimed a frustrated Sydney Bergeman, the most frequent user of the apparatus. "Brrrrrrg," she noted.
Although no one has been formally charged, many nursery inhabitants believe the stolen bin to be the work of the Horse (who is brown and neighs). "I didn't take no $%*#'in poop holder," claimed the Horse in an interview this afternoon. Currently the Horse is also facing charges for lewd and indecent public behavior. "That Sheep wanted it!" he was heard to whine as police led him away from the interrogation room. SydNews was unable to reach the Sheep for comment. The Horse will go to trial in just a few weeks, where he will have to explain his actions to a jury of his peers—in this case, a school of Baby Cheddar Goldfish.
Some nursery residents claim the receptacle burglary is only the latest in a recent spate of crimes afflicting the area. "Every day I look for my balls," claimed the Giraffe thingy who has holes in his arms and head, "and every day I'm like, WTF?" Others say the mistrustful environment is detracting from what was once a welcoming neighborhood. "Chhhhhhg... Whirrrrrr, " grumbled the yellow tower with flashy lights and music, a suspicion shared by other residents. "Good grief!" responded the Lion from the upstairs playset, "Just look at him—it takes one to know one. Actually, is he single? And check out that new half-sheep half-cow contraption; you can't tell me that's natural."
Meanwhile, police are directing any and all stinky diapers to the small, green plastic bags located in the cabinet of the changing table and then to the large rubber garbage can in the garage. When asked if the smell was distracting, residents' reactions were mixed. "Check my lid, yo," said the Bee from the downstairs playset, "I'm all drool for real!" "Holy sanitization light, Batman!" countered the Music Bear on top of the new stand-up toy thingy, who shook his tambourine and horn for emphasis. (He then asked if the Lion had mentioned him.)
Copyright 2009 L Naga
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment